Saturday, May 20, 2017

Has anyone ever felt, "stuck?"

Like, you're at a point in life where no matter what you try and do, you can't seem to get unstuck?  I know, it's another rant entry.  Though I'm hoping someone in a similar situation could share if they are in the same boat.

One of the things about growing up on a small town is that many don't have opportunities, especially for many with degrees.  Pay is low, hours are longer and the workload is hectic.  Maybe it's the same in a larger more diverse area, I don't know for sure.  Maybe I just have a lousy job for a lousy company, I've seen the complaints about them online and can confirm all of them... it's that bad, but I make too much (lol) compared to what other jobs pay to take a paycut anywhere else.

Now one could say, "just move?"  and you would be right, but it's not so simple as you get older.  Some of us have families, they wouldn't take kindly for moving because that would mean you'd have to go back at some point, yearly even to visit friends and family.

Debt could be another thing, like my situation where I thought if I get a BA in computer science, online, since I needed a full time job to take care of family at the time,jobs would be lining up.  At least that's what the schools will tell you, what they DON'T tell you is that most schools rarely hire online students, hell you have to go to an actual campus to have a shot at employment.  Which I couldn't do thanks to the demand of my family and job, so all that time became wasted, and I allowed it to happen because I was far too optimistic for my own good.  So now I have all this student loan debt that I can't even get temp relief now.  Can't save up to move.

My work is officially dead end sad to say, the company isn't the same anymore. Right now, I'm working to keep stock two buildings while working with very demanding and sometimes awful staff.  Been there for 15 years and barely above the new minimum wage, small towns are bad at wages by the way, even nursing doesn't pay well here. 

Between financial stress and work stress, I've found myself at the mercy of severe depression and horrible anxiety and panic attacks.  I'm used to fast paced work, I'm used to deadlines and working hard, but man without any real getaway it takes it's toll.  Got some small medical bills to add to that frustration, on top of losing my cat, car accident, and being forced to move out, and this was just all in half a year's time.  There's more I'm probably not remembering, and perhaps I'm better off this way.

Did much research on Mohave County, and hoo boy... I'd say 80% of Arizona is a real wasteland.  Phoenix and Tuscon are about the only real places to get a "decent job" but other states with slightly more COL pay better.  

Now, before someone smugly says "shoulda took a trade job" let me shoot back with, I had one... sorta.  Trade jobs don't pay as good in smaller communities unless you're a contractor or management, where as you tell other people to do the work.  This country has a strange way of rewarding the desk jockies that don't do all the risk.  

So all these online ventures I've been doing, the video games, book, prints, what have you... I'm having a hard time believing they're going to go anywhere.  I'm going to stick with prints, since I can churn out more.  Marketing is a bitch though, like it's a pain and there are far too many marketing agencies who are eager to rip you off for a smidgit of exposure.  Seems the best ways to get the word out is word of mouth and controversy.  I do have a few good ideas for an "Impeach Trump" meme, but we'll cross that bridge.  I wish there was some online side job I can do to help whittle these bills down, but the internet is full of scammers these days.  I know better how to sniff them out, but so tired of running into them.

You know those scammers:

  • The one who won't tell you his "secrets" until you buy his expensive book/course that really teaches you something easily found on Google.
  • Marketing scams where you fly out somewhere to be a glorified door to door salesman while the scammer takes the money.
  • The old pyramid scheme, selling crap and getting people to sell crap under you and they sign on more people... yeah, no.  And it all comes out of your pocket.
  • Some jerk who rents out a Mcmansion, fancy cars and some IKEA furniture and pretends to be a millionaire by some internet marketing luck, dressed like he barely got out of bed, but he wastes hours of your time talking about marketing but not HOW to actually do it, be wary of them.

There are people who made it work, and they'll tell you it's a hussle, and they're very right.  When someone brags about how easy it is, that should be a automatic red flag.  I'm still trying out many things, even looking up real online work but man it's like digging through slime to find a gold nugget.

Feels like more and more failure one after another, years of bad advice, and people taking advantage of me finally took it's toll, and I'm trying my best not to give up but without real help, it's tough.  There are days where I thought of committing myself to a nut house, but I'm not there yet.

Anyway, if you're in a similar situation, feel free to share!  How did you manage to get out of a rut?

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