So last post was pretty depressing, but honestly I have no one to blame but myself in retrospective, just felt like venting.
Regaining confidence is tough, but good thing the internet is ever so expansive if you know how to sift through the BS and the salesmen.
I found a couple channels that really helped me through some rough spots this past month.
Infinite Waters (Ralph Smart)
Life After Art School
The first one I'd HIGHLY recommend to anyone with depression, anxiety, or feeling lost. Yes, he's a vegan, no, you never get to see the cat down the road, but he'll eventually get you to start saying "FEELS SO GOOD TO BE ALIVE, BABY!" He's a psychologist, went to school and worked as a counselor, still does and this is the kind of advice you see people pay hundreds of dollars for.
For some of you, this may be "well duh" but keep in mind many of us never had that "proper" upbringing. So many life lessons that we should all know before graduating high school. There are lots of takers in life, and I've allowed so many takers to take advantage of me only because I used to have the knack to give people the benefit of the doubt. Over time the takers took their toll, and eventually you start to not trust anyone. Which is a bad situation because it makes future relationships very tough. People wonder why many of us become introverts, withdraw from society? Well this is a very good reason why.
No, it's not healthy, sustainable, but not healthy. However being a introvert doesn't mean you can be a push over, no, you have to start pushing back. Keep pushing back. Life is a never ending game of tug-o-war. Sometimes you yank hard enough and win, other times life yanks you hard enough that you fall in the mud. Speaking as a long time introvert, confrontation sucks. You don't want to be that guy who causes a scene, but think about it, when you stand up for yourself your antagonizes will want to cause a scene and shift the blame on you and make you feel like the bad guy. Be it the person who always wants to borrow money and never pay it back, or the one who steals from you and acts like it's no big deal, or cheats on you. They expect you to not stand up for yourself because they're USED to it. When you start speaking up, the shouting reaction is merely a defense mechanism in place because they can't handle this new development. Eventually they'll get the hint. They might break some of your things or talk smack about you, but they'll get it. They might even want out of your life at some point. Them's the breaks, takers can't have it all.
In the end though, the decision to allow takers to influence your world falls solely on you. This is a hard lesson for anyone, myself included. Once the damage is done you'll have to lick your wounds and start over, as long as you start the process of standing up for yourself, feeling worthy of yourself, and learning to say "no" to anyone and anything that wants you to do something against your best interests (though certain forms of employment can be trickier, might I suggest indeed.com, monster.com, or the local classifieds?)
The lesson I take from all my mishaps in life is that I was too nice for my own good. This is to takers like blood to a vampire. When people don't get their way with me they tend to get pissed and I'd back down, lately over the last few years though I've learned to reverse the situation and stand my ground. I've had many shake ups at work due to this but once I explained my case I usually end up on top, and over time my antagonizer no longer worked there. People are going to hate you for having a spine, but let them hate. They'll get over it... or not, who cares.
As for the second channel...
Wow... every former student who got screwed by art schools, like the Art Institute need to check his channel out. Perhaps screwed is to severe, more like "allowed to be misled by" since taking responsibility for being duped is the first step to ease anxiety.
Yes, many aspiring students were young and naive and were told sweet, sweet candied lies about job placement and top-of-the-line education, maybe we believed too much in ourselves that we'd be making the next (insert art product here) and live off the royalty, or work for another company. The reality is, art jobs just aren't plentiful unless you get creative. See what I did there? Puns all day, but yes, the days of the steady graphic designer and high paid animator are behind us. I've found a couple avenues worth looking into aside from print design, and that's clip art and stock photography.
The deal is you upload it to several sites and you get royalties for it. Many MANY businesses look for these things, like advertisers and marketers, heck even game developers looking for that perfect texture image. I'm going to be real, but I remember not hearing much about HOW to do this and it's gaining steam as of late. True story, we have a UPS guy, a senior one who's making 90k litrally quit, well he's on the papers for calling but he's made so much money on the internet and used his salary on other investments that he has no need for his job unless his passive incomes tank. From what his co-workers told me, he's become obsessed with photography that it became his second career. You know how you see job related blogs with various people doing those tasks? Many of them are stock photos, most of them aren't models, just regular joes. No one is going to take you seriously if you had a model in a lab coat pretending to be a chemist. Or maybe you take pictures of starry skies in the middle of nowhere where you can see more of space unlike sprawling cities with too much light. Maybe mountains, lakes, animals, people. For the art side, silly little one panel cartoons you can actually sell. I used to doodle lots, before my interest in drawing was beaten to a pulp by one too many critics see my year old post about it.
Once again, my fault for caving in to my bitter of critics, professional or no. Now, the drawing landscape has changed. People draw on tablets that you can see what you're drawing, far too expensive for my indebted arse but I'd like to work towards one... perhaps that's where affiliate marketing will come in, we'll see.
First things first, I have to finish packing up and moving out... figures when I get some ideas I'm in the middle of a huge life change. But I have time to blog so there's that.
See you later!